Post Script

True story regarding wanting something tangible to know God's will. When I would sit for standardized tests in high school, PSAT, SAT, and ACT, we took them in the school cafeteria.  When I got to the section asking for intended major during the intro where you bubbled in your name, etc., I would always wait for the answer from God.  I am being completely honest! I would even sit as close as I could to a window to help Him out a little. I figured He could just send one sunbeam to the perfect little circle.  It never happened and I would hastily just fill in Business each time.  I don't know how I got such a literal interpretation of how God was supposed to manifest His will in my life, but I would do it every time.  I was a little panicked about what I should choose for the Rest Of My Life (that's how things feel in High School!) and figured that God had the plan and now was the time to reveal! Obviously once arriving at college and even graduating, I now know that it did not really matter what I bubbled in because you can change your mind until your last breath!

Secondly, if you have not read or reread Exodus or the Pentateuch for that matter, you should really do it! I know, I know, lots of lists, begets, and crazy rules that you cannot understand how anyone could follow. But it really is amazing! Exodus really makes me see just how closely we were formed in God's image. I can totally understand God's frustration with these people that He delivered and kept delivering for.  I really think God has a sense of humor. "Ok, so you are complaining about having no meat and you would have rather died in Egypt because at least they had quail. Fine. I'll give you quail and then we will see how much you like it!" or "Moses! What can they possibly be complaining about now? They have food, water, riches, and even their clothes and shoes do not wear out - yes, I do think about Mothers with many children! - What else could they possibly want. Just enjoy the view and relax!" And when God tells Moses that the Israelites are his [Moses'] people - "What are YOUR people complaining about now?" Just like telling your significant other, "YOUR child(ren) did (fill in the blank) today," because MY child(ren) certainly would have better manners, etc."  The Israelites were the original whiners (actually maybe that was Adam, but he was a blamer too! "The woman made me do it!"); could you just see God thinking, "Can I get you a nice goat cheese to go with that whine?" (Ok, maybe not really. And to be fair, had I been there I would be right in the middle of it, doing the same thing.  How complacent we become when surrounded by great things! "Last time I saw Yahweh, I AM that I AM? I watched Him fill the Holy of Holies just the other day. Cloud so thick you could not even see through it!" Could you just imagine! I would just fall down on my face on the floor. How awesome!)  I can relate to doing something over and over again for someone and not getting the recognition. (Motherhood, marriage, friendship, etc!) And some of the things they do too! Like Aaron when confronted about making the golden calf by Moses. "Moses, it just jumped right out of the fire like that!"  Right... God's capacity to love and forgive us is unending. And He would do it all again for us.  So happy that He sacrificed His only Son for my salvation. (It definitely beats the do-it-yourself animal sacrifice in more ways than one! Imagine that on your check-off list for the day! And the PETA people - oh my!)  So glad that my God is a God of second chances!


*disclaimer: my opinions only! Now I really reduced the readership of this blog to my parents who have to love me anyway since they made me!=)

3 Months!

The best way out is always through. Robert Frost

It is amazing that we are "through" 3 months and starting the fourth!  It has not been without hiccups but has been doable by the grace of God.  Madison and I started June with the stomach flu and I can fully appreciate now having an extra person around just simply for the option of running to the store! But God provides! We had everything we needed to be housebound for a week and plenty of wonderful neighbors who offered help. That really made me feel loved and cared for!  I also realized, especially when reading my Bible about the miracles God performed, that I miss God in the small things like a pantry filled with what I needed to care for Madison. I tend to look for the pillar of cloud/pillar of fire (Exodus) to know where to move next and where to stay. (How great would that be in life if that was all we had to watch to know what God wanted us to do? I can say with the power of hindsight that the wandering Israelites did not know how good they had it! Thirsty? Go talk to a rock. Hungry? Bread of Life on the ground in the morning. Meat? More quail than you have recipes for - as an aside, those little birds are great marinated in Italian dressing then grilled. Need to know God? He sends fire from heaven and fills your worship place with tangible cloud. Not sure what he wants you to do? Just follow the fire and the cloud. But do not lose your trust in Him and mutiny, because He will cause the ground to open and swallow you and your extended family up! Can you just imagine the talk around the camp after that, especially by those who had married away? "I told you your side of the family was crazy!")  I want to be filled with God's Presence but being very human I also like the "big show" so I really, really know what I should be doing instead of listening to quiet voices.  I am a work in progress!

Michael is becoming quite the proficient baker. I continue to be thankful as the weather warms up that he can work indoors.  The monotony and sameness of each day sometimes gets to him but he realizes he is fortunate to be where he is.  He was the recipient of a summer haircut this weekend; a product of some of his coworkers and CO teasing him about shaving his head and telling the inmate who cuts hair that was what he wanted.  Unfortunately you don't see what your hair looks like until you are done and despite asking for a trim, Michael received a very, very, very close buzz cut.  For those of you that know him well, since his hair line has been receding, he is sensitive about haircuts.  This was very humbling and he was understandably upset! But hair grows back (even though they teased him and told them it probably would not!) and Michael is learning very valuable character lessons that he probably did not want to learn!  At least he will not have to that person cut his hair for a very, very, very long time!

Madison and I are excited for June! Madison is learning how to swim and loves the water. We are blessed to be in a neighborhood that has a pool and she loves meeting her friends there.  The past 21 months have really impressed upon me the seasons of change (Ecclesiastes 3 or a song by The Byrds, depending on how you grew up =)!) and this month especially! We will be saying good-bye to good friends and neighbors across the street, Madison's best friend, who are moving to a different state for a new job. But we also will be welcoming a new little baby next door, who we cannot wait to hold and love on.  I am grateful for a God who sustains me through all things and the wonderful people He puts in my life!

Happy beginning of summer!

Heidi