A New Day, A New Experience!

On Friday evenings at the FPC Pensacola, your schedule for Saturday, Sunday and Monday is posted. This past Friday Michael found out that he was scheduled for the Navy Yard on Monday - the beginning of his regular work assignment. Michael had hoped he would get assigned to the kitchen but the silver lining is that the Navy Yard is 20 minutes away by bus so you get a chance to get off campus and the boxed lunches you take are supposed to be good. On Monday he called us early before he had to report at the Bus Barn at 6:30am. He was up early partly because he did not want to be late his first day and because as the new man in the dorm room, his bunk is directly across from the door to the hallway and bathroom. The community bathroom door is broken and stays propped open, so when the dorm room door is opened he says it is like a searchlight right on his bed. He is learning to sleep through the metal clanging of the early riser's locker openings and shuttings but the searchlight is not as easy! Just to give you some background, when I first met Michael in undergrad and helped him move from his apartment to law school, I could not believe he had newspaper on his bedroom windows! I could not help laughing and told him that "old people" did this to block the sun. At least in Florida there seemed to be alot of foil/newspaper on windows of retired people - huge generalization I know, but I was young. Each apartment since he has done the same with a combination of car window blockers and folded boxes, etc. After we were married and went to Hilton Head with his parents, I realized what a great idea this was especially to help reduce the heat in the room - so now I am a convert. However it was funny at the time and I would call his bedrooms "the Bat Cave." Michael was up early and probably the first one at the Bus Barn. He was told not to expect to do too much the first couple of days because he yet again had to be cleared in a new place. So yesterday he sat on a picnic bench under a metal awning from 7:15am until 2:o0pm - no book, no conversation, nothing just sitting. He said it was nice to have the awning at first but in the afternoon it was really hot underneath it. This week he will be learning patience and stillness under his metal awning on his metal picnic bench. Please pray for him to have a good attitude about this and for him to be put in the place God has for him. When he asked if he could bring a book or paper to write letters he was put in his place quickly and told he just needs to sit until he is told otherwise. A great verse we shared with him was Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Hopefully today will be the last sitting day and I can post about his new adventure as a groundskeeper/grass cutter! Heidi

An Omer's Measure of Grace

I am currently doing a Woman's Bible Study in my home on Wednesday nights and last night's study was especially poignant. We are doing Beth Moore's "A Woman's Heart," and the topic was the beginning of the Israelite's "exodus" through the wilderness. The verses that I needed this week were Exodus 16: 16-18 where God is explaining how they will gather manna to eat each morning. They gathered the manna (bread from heaven, literally the food of angels) by the omer which is about 2 quarts. No matter how much or how little they gathered, it was enough for their needs for the day. In her commentary, Beth Moore gave me exactly what I needed for this week.
"God is always sufficient in perfect proportion to our need. Every morning He has already set aside the omer for our daily need. God's grace and mercy are always there, available every day, prior to our need, and in direct proportion to every moment's demand; but we must gather them. God's grace is always sufficient, and His arms are always open to give it; bur will our arms be open to receive what He so graciously offers? You and I can survive anything, but we must want to."

So this week I will start each day open to take the grace and mercy I need. Today it was grace to handle the 1,000 suicidal termites at my front door and be thrilled about the science lesson it provided my daughter, not to mention the joy it gave her to help use the vacuum cleaner to suck them up. This grace will be new every morning as I clean them up until my termite appointment next Thursday!:) I also have praise to offer that Michael had a great "team meeting" last night and was able to take his final orientation classes today. He was told that he has received the highest recommendations in evaluations from the supervisors he had interacted with. On Monday he will find out if he is cleared for work and what his choices will be. Michael is trying to maintain the "highest" level on his evaluations as this will speak to the possibility of an earlier release in the future. Please pray that he continues to be surrounded by the right people and makes the right decisions. We thank you in advance from all your prayers and please know that you too can receive your daily refreshment from God, all you have to do is receive it!

Heidi

Family Visit

This weekend Michael's Mom and Dad were able to go to Pensacola to visit. Michael was able to spend time with them Friday afternoon, Saturday and Sunday. Michael really enjoyed the visit. And Robbie Ball came on Saturday afternoon and was able to meet Michael's parents. They learned some new visiting "tricks" too! For instance if you are planning on eating lunch from the vending machines, buy it when you arrive and set it on your table or else your options are limited when lunch time comes. You can pile your food on your table (all preservative-filled and you microwave when ready so it won't spoil) and no one bothers it. There are board games and cards and indoor and outdoor seating. He even got to enjoy an ice cream sandwich after lunch - what a great treat! His parents also experienced how different the FPC world is - having to wait an hour to get in on Friday since everything shut down until the power at the camp could be turned back on after going out. During the wait they were able to talk with other families and reported that everyone was very helpful and friendly. They also learned that the change machine was not that helpful and that it is better to bring quarters and dollar bills for the vending machines!

This Wednesday Michael has a "team meeting" where he is given his recommendation for job placement. He is praying for a teaching or kitchen assignment and we would appreciate your prayers for the same. Today he gets to go to the dentist, where they "count your teeth to make sure you have them all and record it for my medical file." Fun times! But he sounds like his cold is going away and he was in good spirits!

Thank you for your continued prayers for our family! Madison and I would like to add that since termite season is starting, please pray that they do not find our home tasty and pass right over! This Florida girl will never be used to swarming termites nor the (very southern, drawled) response from our termite bond company when we learned about swarming termites: "Oh honey! Don't worry! They just swarm and swarm for 24 - 48 hours and then just die. Those are not the ones to be worried about!" I beg to differ when 100,000 of them die on my front step and get blown into my home when the door is opened!:) Especially with a small child and a curious cat living here.

Have a great week!

Heidi

Madison and Heidi at the Shamrock and Roll 5K!

After the race with a respectable time of 46:52!

(Pretty good for only practicing 2 times before the race! Next time we will be stroller contenders!)

Michael's First Visitor!

Thank you Mr. Robbie Ball for visiting Michael Saturday afternoon! It came at the perfect time since Michael was feeling lonely and under weather with his first cold. Nothing like the first few colds to build up your immunity in a new place with new germs! It is a wonderful thing to hear your name called over the PA system telling you to report to the visitor yard for a visitor. Each camper is searched before and after the visit to ensure no contraband has been received or given to the visitor, but once you are in the visiting area it is nice to be back in contact with the "real" world. Thank you for encouraging Michael and helping turn his day around!

Madison and I had an eventful weekend too, with our washer circuit board breaking and the door knob to our garage breaking, but we overcame! It is nice to know that it really is difficult to break into our house-t0-garage door. We had to take the door completely off the hinges to get the broken retracting piece out of the door. We decided to "choose joy" in everything and sang the "Bob the Builder" theme song as we marched through Home Depot to the door knob aisle. "Bob the Builder ... YES WE CAN! ... Bob the Builder... Can we do it? ... Bob the Builder... YES WE CAN!" We got a few curious looks but most people stay out of the way of a woman in the Home Depot pushing one of those #20 race car carts. Have you seen the turn radius on the those things? Not pretty! Anyway, we have a lovely new door knob that we even rekeyed to match the old key and felt pretty good! And we have plenty of clean clothes to get us to Thursday when the new part for our washer should be in - and plenty of awesome neighbors who have offered their washing machines too! Although I think Madison might enjoy the coin laundry and it is never too soon to start getting ready for college. But I think now they use debit card functions on their ID's instead of coins. I realize that this dates me by reminiscing over coming to college with an old peanut butter jar full of quarters. What a great gift idea wasted by technology!

Our praise for the weekend was Madison and I completing a 5K on Sunday morning. Our church service that day was enjoying the beautiful (though chilly) weather on the first morning of the time change with 2800 other people. What a great day! Our other praise is that Michael has arranged his schedule for the time being to be able to call us around 8am our time and talk for 4-5 minutes each week day! This is a great start to our day and helps us miss him a little less during the day. The best $1.25 we have ever spent a day! Hope you have a great week!

Heidi

First Letter! (and 2nd and 3rd!)

We finally received our first letters from Michael today! He included his schedule (wake up at 4:30!) and what his days have been like. He has done some grounds keeping and work in the kitchen. When he is medically cleared and his orientation is finished (approx. 4 weeks) then he will be able to choose a more permanent job. Pensacola has had some severe thunderstorms and he was surprised to learn that the campus effectively "locks down" in inclement weather and they are sent back to their dorms. One of the afternoons he was in the kitchen so could remain there and finish working. He was able to participate in a non-food commissary day and purchase some casual clothing, a watch, and a radio receiver for the television. Unfortunately March is inventory month and they no longer had tennis shoes in his size. He will be able to try again for tennis shoes the beginning of April. One of his roommates (11 in all) suggested purchasing gel inserts for his boots and that seems to help.

Michael reports that his roommates are very helpful and have been instrumental in his adjustment to camp life. I am so grateful that this is the case. The dorm room has 6 bunk beds and he has a top bunk. There are high school type lockers on one wall and he was able to get a bottom one. He is happy to have a watch since he is expected to be certain places at certain times and was a little anxious about being able to do that without one. Another happy point - he says the food is not that bad so far!:)

Ever since Madison was born, Michael has made up stories for her and he has decided to write these down (they evolve with retelling and are usually used for distraction!) and add more. Madison and I look forward to his new stories and I think it is a great idea that he is doing this for her. Before he left, a man named Nathan from our church came over to the house and video taped Michael reading some of Madison's favorite books. Nathan is putting these on DVD's and will be posting them on a website that I can access for Madison from my computer. I am so thankful for these and the phone calls he will be able to make as they will help Madison through this next 15 months. We look forward to his next communication!

Heidi

The First Week

As I write this it is exactly to the hour one week since we left Michael in Pensacola. The beginning of the trip home was sad but by the halfway mark (a little side trip through Montgomery, AL to find I-85 again!) it became more about knowing that we will both be able to come through this better than we were when we began. I owe a great deal of this feeling to my father who happens to be an excellent road trip buddy. He is able to help you find the positive in any situation and can find humor in anything even taking a wrong turn. ("At least we are going in the right direction still," my Dad reasoned. "And it gives us time to enjoy our food.") Also he has some great ideas about what your GPS really thinks and wants to say when you do not follow its directions and it has to recalculate.

I know I will be able to handle this upcoming year not because there is something amazing about me but that I can rely on God and share my burden with others. I have been more on the "willing to help others" side and have found it difficult to accept the same help. I am learning and hopefully doing so graciously. I subscribe to a daily email devotion and this morning's verse was "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He care for you. 1Peter 5:7." What a perfect thing to read. The devotion went on to describe a person who had a personal tragedy and became closer to God. I wanted to share this from the author:
"He is the first to admit that despite his independence in life, spiritually he is more dependent on God than ever, and it's a gift. Desperate dependence is where you surrender not to the circumstances or the loss, but to God. Author Max Davis says, 'Desperate dependence is the place where we can stop living by our own power.' It's where we discover God's strength in and through us."

Thank you again for letting me share my burden with you and lifting me up!

Heidi

First night on our own!

This afternoon my Mom left to go back to Florida and Madison and I are officially on our own. (Of course we appreciate being able to call any of you whenever we need too!) So far so good. Then I was able to talk to Michael tonight and hear about his first commissary visit. He can purchase clothing, electronics and shoes on Mondays so was able to purchase some sweatpants, shorts, socks, a radio to listen to the group televisions (you can only hear the TV via headphones and a radio receiver), and a watch (there are not many clocks on campus, maybe some one's way of being compassionate? Although it would make me crazy!). He wanted to get some tennis shoes too but they did not have his size and he was told that they will have some the beginning of April. He was issued steel-toed boots when he arrived and says that he is getting used to them. He was also able to get some shower shoes.

We have been so blessed each step of the way. Thursday before Michael left, we received a call from a friend of a friend who had personal experience with the Board of Prisons. He gave us great advice including the suggestion to bring a money order with you when you surrender so you could start getting the things you would need. He recommended at least $300. We have a really tight budget, supplemented by prayer right now and we were not sure how that was going to happen. So that night we prayed. The next morning at Michael's L2L morning prayer breakfast, not only did those men pray over Michael, but they handed him a money order for $300. God is so amazing! It reminded us of when Jesus told Peter to go fish for the money to pay the temple tax and there in the fish's mouth was the exact coin denomination he needed to pay his tax and Jesus'! God meets our needs exactly! (Matthew 17:24-27)

I am so proud of Michael. He is a shining light at this campus. He was able to take in a soft cover copy of the Bible when he surrendered and has been sharing it with his roommates and other men in a Christian men's group he joined. They had not seen a contemporary version of the Bible like Michael's Starting Point Bible and were excited that it "made sense" to them. It is not an easy thing to be a witness and it is so wonderful that Michael is able to do so and not fall into bitterness and despair. Thank you L2L and Vinings Lake Church for everything you do!

One more note - Michael was so excited to hear his name called during mail call this evening! When he went forward to receive his mail, it turned out that it was the letters he had posted last week. He did not put enough postage on them. :) Just so you know, it is nice to receive anything even if it is your own letters that you have to repost! Thank you in advance for taking a few minutes to write a quick note to him. I know it will be read over and over again and greatly appreciated!

Heidi

First Phone Call!

We had our first phone call today! It was so wonderful to hear his voice. Of course we were both crying happy tears too! Madison was able to talk too and tell him that she loved him! Michael says that his roommates are good guys and he has met some other good guys at a Bible study group. Yay! I was worried about who he would be around and was praying for some solid people. He was surprised at the prices in the commissary as was I - tennis shoes $50, watch $50, radio (to hear the group TV's) $50, and toiletries were expensive as well. Praise God the laundry is free! I thought that the things available to buy would be at a reduced rate especially for a government operation. Apparently the savings are not being passed on to the consuming campers!

What a learning experience this year will be! We are looking at it as a way to strengthen our communication, our marriage and our walk with God. Also we know we will be more humble in our everyday lives and be among the first to help others, especially those in this situation. Praise God for the dormitory and room Michael was placed in. I continue to cover him in prayers for his safety and that he would meet favor with those he interacts with and be a good witness. And maybe get a sentence reduction/transfer to home confinement!:) I have learned that you cannot put God in a box and that He is mighty to save! I am looking forward to the first letter which Michael said he posted yesterday!

Heidi

BOP - Not My Favorite People Today

The BOP went down in my estimation today when we received the box of Michael's arrival clothes via UPS. To understand the full impact of this near disaster, you must understand that my daughter loves the UPS man and can identify the truck, the man in uniform, the logo, etc. anywhere at anytime. This may be the second "word" she has learned to spell, the first being her own name. Madison loves UPS because Grandma and Grandpa May send her care packages frequently and she believes that Brown works for them. So today when the UPS man came bearing a package to our door to the cries of "UPS! UPS! UPS!," and I realized what it might be, my stress level shot right up.

Before Michael left, we received great advice that he should wear old clothes/shoes and just have the BOP donate or toss them, whatever their policy was at the time. Otherwise the camper pays for the postage for them to be sent back home. I think this is crazy during a voluntary surrender, when they could literally toss them out the door to me (actually I was thinking over the wall to be more dramatic but there are no walls surrounding the campus!). So BOP when my daughter mistakenly thought the package was for her and when it was opened recognized his clothes, this was the first fragile moment for us. God is so good and He provides! One of the things we did to use up the time before Michael turned himself in was wander around the Walmart. The choices were Walmart, Home Depot, Lowe's, and KMart. Walmart is always a great place to find out just what kind of place you have arrived at! Grandpa May suggested that Michael pick out something for Madison and so we choose some bubbles (a favorite) and a new Crayola Color Wonder pad for her church bag. (The markers will only write on the Color Wonder paper - perfect for pews!)

We had not given Madison her gifts yet and I thought I would give them to her at an appropriate moment when she was missing Dad. Out came the Walmart bag (another favorite place for her, as she will tell you that you can get ANYTHING at the Walmart!), and she was so happy that her Daddy had something special for her. Thank you Jesus for always being there and carrying us through the shadows in the valley! Just another reminder that I am not alone and My Heavenly Father cares for me! (And my earthly father - Thanks Dad you are the best! And thank you for modeling the characteristics of our Heavenly Father so that I could have a clearer and more accurate picture of Him.) 1John 3:1-3

Heidi

First Communication!

Today I received my first email from Michael! It was brief, but he writes that he is doing well and still getting his bearings. He also wanted me to confirm his Register Number 62166-019 for correspondence.

This email takes a little bit of pressure off my chest! It is amazing how much just 19 words can mean to a person. It has been empty here without him and several times a day I find myself thinking of things I will tell him when he gets home only to realize that will not be the case for awhile. The night before we left for Pensacola, we counted the times that we had been apart from each other in our marriage. It turned out that it was only 6 nights in 7 years! Being apart will take a little time to get used to! Only 395 days to go!

Madison is doing well and prays for Daddy at his new job. My parents have been such a blessing and I appreciate them staying with me during this first week for support. It has made the transition easier for both Madison and I. Thank you for all of your prayers and please keep them coming. We need them!

Heidi

Steadfast Love

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases.
His mercies never come to an end.
They are new every morning.
Great is Thy faithfulness, O Lord.

It was a very emotional and long day. We arrived early and were able to spend time with Michael in Pensacola before leaving him there. The personnel we interacted with at the Camp were nice and it seemed that the campers had a lot of freedom to come and go around the campus. It is not easy being so heart broken but I am trusting in God. I cannot thank everyone enough for their support before Michael left. Your well wishes really meant so much.

We have prepared Madison by letting her know that her Daddy is starting a new job. Mommy and Grandpa were taking him to his new job while Madison played with Grandma. A big thank you to all of our friend with small children who travel, as Madison was comfortable that her Daddy had to travel and work somewhere other than home. Who knew how handy this normal for her would be! Also thank you to everyone who graciously shared their experiences and gave us tips for what to expect and what to bring. Information really is power and helped us immensely. Finally thank you to everyone for your prayers. We could not have done this with out the peace that comes from God. Madison and I are looking forward to our first call/email and planning times we can communicate with Michael.

At the bottom of this blog page there is a section called "Correspondence." I have included the information I was given today along with Michael's Inmate Number and his mailing address. It will remain at the bottom of the blog at all times and I will update the allowances as I find them out.

Thank you for being so wonderful to our family!

Heidi

Off to Pensacola

This morning has been very difficult! My heart is breaking as each minute goes by knowing that I will not be with Heidi, Madison and Emma for the next year. I cannot imagine how my days and nights will be without them.

I am focused on Matthew Chapter 6. I am going do to my best to not worry about the future, but to remain in each day. I know this will be difficult in the beginning, but God has a plan for us and I look forward to the journey.

Heidi and Madison - Daddy loves you with all his heart and I will see you soon!

Love,

Michael